the lost and the forgotten

Sunday, July 16, 2006

i dont know. its been days since i've been feeling sad... not really sad but low, i guess. and this mood swings really eat away my days. i've been trying to find out why i've been feeling this way, and the only thing that comes into my mind is that i miss my old set of friends... girlfriends in particular.

in my school days, although i hang out with the boys, i do have a set of girlfriends to go out with for femme stuffs. you know, the essentials... shopping, girl talks over coffee and the likes. hanging with the guys is laid back... but nothing beats a woman companion, i bet everyone would agree to that.

back in highschool, i have this girl bestfriend who i'm with till college. she knew everything about me and i knew everything about her... well almost. after we got our degree... i mean, after i got my degree (she didn't finish hers coz she kept on changing her major), we still maintain contact until that one day when i found out that the police was looking for her. a huge estafa case was filed against her by a number of people. it seems that she's been having some money problems and kept on taking loans. the last time i heard from her was when she was asking if i have some cash that i can give her. i didn't have any that time... the day after that, she has gone into hiding.

yes, she did owe some money too but i didn't file a complaint against her. i couldn't. some my friends filed complaints and the amount reached some hundred thousands bucks. until now, i couldn't believed that it happened to her. i knew she's a good and smart girl, and there could have been a valid reason behind her actions. i wish i knew how she is right now. she had her birthday last week and i missed her so much... had she been with me, i could have been a better person. and if i had been with her... i don't know if i could have made a difference. i just wish i could do something for her when she had that problem. but no one knew. even her boyfriend didnt knew about it. and he was a good guy. they spent more than 5 (i think) good years together. i just wish one day i could meet my friend again. hope everything's alright for her.

my other girlfriends had gotten married. i dont know... i couldnt really get the drift of the conversation with married people. priorities are different and although they are educational chit-chat... i couldn't maintain long hours of listening and talking about babies, cooking, laundry, husband-coming-home. dont get me wrong, i love babies... i like cooking - although cooking doesn't seem to like me back. i'm hopeless with laundry but i'm interested to hear the howtos. maybe someday i can be more accommodating with them. i dont know, maybe after i get married... if i ever get married.

and the rest, tried to find their good future outside our native soil. i couldn't blame them, the opportunities abroad are incomparable to what this third-world country can offer them. sometimes i think i should go out, too. but i like it here and unless its mission-critical, i'd like to stay here.

friends come and go, so they say. i know i will find new girlfriends along the way. but i have made history with my old friends and i want to keep them with me. those memories that would always bind us together... i hope.

time can always change a person... i guess the only good thing about being left behind is the fact that instead of forgetting the past, time will always help you remember them.

by h2Omelon GurL @ 11:04 PM with 1 comments

Hello just dropped by and read the latest entry... You write well :) Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Maybe it will become better in the end.
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