remembering them

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

today is all saints day. tomorrow is all souls day. theoretically, people should go to cementeries on nov 2 and not nov 1. but since it has been a (catholic, i think) tradition that nov. 1 is a non-working holiday, we made use of the opportunity to go to our deceased loved ones this day. and my mom told me that we, in a way, consider them as saints in their own rights. hence, visiting the dead on all saints day.

i went to visit my boyfriend's mom today. its been a while since we had the chance to go to her grave. before, the two of us used to go there and talk to her about our relationship. i knew he loved her so much and i wish i was able to meet her. she has this wonderful son who treats me so well and i continously thank her for raising him that way. ok, maybe there have been some glitches... hahaha, but i think its safe to say that the changes happened after she passed away. still, i adore her son.

we are not a closed-knit family but my mom remember every deceased relative we have that she continues to amaze me. every year, we would send prayers and mass offering to our dead. take note, the list includes my grandparents and my grandparents' parents, and relatives to the 3rd degree. i really dont know how she could do that. i hope in my generation, they will forgive me if i will forget their full names... after all, i didnt even had a chance to know them in person... i better ask my mom for a copy.

i wouldnt forget my grandparents' names, though. that would be unforgiveable. i wasnt able to meet my dad's parents. i'm not really sure why but either they died before we were born or they spent their lifetime in our province. more likely its the first one. i can't remember their faces. but i remember that i tried to go through the old photoalbum... those b&w photos that are really, really scary to look at back when i was a kid as it was during the japanese invasion. most of my uncles and aunts (my father's sibling) died during that time. maybe i should try and look at them again. thing is, the recent horror movies affected me mentally with regards really old photos... i'm not sure if im ready to look at them again.

i was lucky to have met my mom's parents. both of them were teachers. my grandmom was twice as strict as my mom. i dont know how my mom made it through. hahaha. she had a tougher upbringing. i love my granddad though... a lot. he was very very handsome. and he let us eat candies and ice pops from my grandmom's store. hahaha. i remember him giving the goodies and letting us hide away until we finished eating. i missed them both but they spent most of the time in the province. we werent able to go to them frequently as back then, the travel time from manila to cagayan was more than 8 hours by bus. it was crazy and back when i was a kid, i couldnt handle long hours of travel.

i also have an older brother... he was supposed to be the eldest. he died minutes after my mom delivered him. i wonder how things would be like if he had lived.... me having an older brother.

these people made an impact in my life, directly or indirectly. my mom insists that i should remember their names even if i wasnt able to meet them. (better keep a written list). they have become part of me through my parents or through some other person somehow... and should be remembered even once in a year like today. may they all rest in peace.

by h2Omelon GurL @ 11:17 PM with 0 comments

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